she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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