I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
