So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
