he wants to bone in the snuggie
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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