yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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