In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
