so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
