he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
