It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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