I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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