yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
