it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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