ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i dont even know how to be here
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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