overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
