i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
