Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
