I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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