respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
