Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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