so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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