You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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