why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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