it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
