Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
