Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
