wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize