he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize