toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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