Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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