White coat. Heels.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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