eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
