Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
love makes seman taste better
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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