What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize