Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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