Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
