Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
