smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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