I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
