on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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