Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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