he wants to bone in the snuggie
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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