please come you make the beer taste better
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
