Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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