Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
