if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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