The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
