well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
