I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Soap is not a condiment
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize