i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
