Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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