I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize