mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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