we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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