You really coming over, don't trick.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
