I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
