I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
