And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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