You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
