i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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