i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
